I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
