I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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