U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
