did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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