I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
