He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
