Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
