return my video game
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
