You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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