I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
