Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
