I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
