Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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