Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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