In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
