you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
