thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
