Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
