Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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