i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
