So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
