Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
