If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize