yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
