He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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