do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
