Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
