Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
pop tarts are not kleenex
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize