did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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