pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
