no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
