The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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