my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize