Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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