My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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