I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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