This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up under a house in Key West
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