Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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