walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
