i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I still have a little drunk in my system
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
