the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
