Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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