i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
