wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
