Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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