"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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