shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
