You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Quick, to the slutcave!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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