Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
