I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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