Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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