I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
