Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
