she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
