OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
