she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
no you cant smoke seaweed
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
