is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
