Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
