I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
