my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
