there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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